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Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 52

Because it was the first class, there wasn’t much advanced content, only some basic sign language, numbers, titles, you, me, him, etc.  

During this period, Ji Chenfeng would do some interactive exercises and set questions for everyone to complete. There were a total of seven people in the class, but he ignored me from beginning to end, as if I suddenly became invisible in front of him.

I held my chin and watched him interact with others, feeling a bit uncomfortable that he only looked at others, but when I thought about seeing him twice a week for the next few months, it didn’t matter.

He can’t ignore me every time, and as long as he looks at me, there will be a second and third glance. Take it slow, I can definitely soften his heart again.

After the class ended, we said goodbye to everyone, then Ji Chenfeng, Meng Xueyan, and I went to the subway station together because we were going the same way.

What a bother…

I glanced at Meng Xueyan next to me, and then at Ji Chenfeng. If it weren’t for this woman, it would have been just me and Ji Chenfeng walking together. This woman won’t always act like a lightbulb in the future, right?

Tsk, it’s really troublesome.

“Does Teacher Ji live far from here?”

“Not too far. It just takes half an hour by subway.”

“Oh, my home is quite far from here, it takes an hour, but my company is closer to here, about twenty minutes…”

But there are also benefits.

“I live five stops away from here, which is quite close.” I said.

It was during the casual conversation between her and Ji Chenfeng that I could insert myself as if nothing had happened, indirectly engaging in a conversation with Ji Chenfeng, and he couldn’t avoid me.

There were still two minutes left for the train to arrive at the station. Because it was relatively late, there were not many people on the platform, scattered around in small groups around us, so we didn’t line up too neatly. Meng Xueyan stood alone in the front, and Ji Chenfeng and I stood side by side in the back.

“Teacher Ji, what is your job? You look so patient. Are you a teacher?”

Meng Xueyan looked quite introverted, and I didn’t expect her to be an expert at talking. There was a sense of effort that “although I don’t know what to talk about, I am more afraid of extreme silence than awkward conversations.”

“Veterinarian.” Ji Chenfeng replied.

“Wow, no wonder.” Meng Xueyan didn’t want to favor one over the other, so she turned to me and asked, “What about you, Sang Nian? What do you do?”

“Me, I don’t have a job right now, I’m unemployed at home.”

I generously admit to being unemployed and didn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. However, Meng Xueyan seemed a bit uneasy upon hearing this, as if she had unintentionally mentioned my sadness.

She nodded hesitantly: “Well, that’s… that’s good too. Give yourself a long vacation.”

The train slowly arrived at the station, interrupting our conversation.

Although the number of people in the carriage wasn’t as much during the evening rush hour, the seats were still limited. The only empty seat was given to Meng Xueyan, while Ji Chenfeng and I chose to stand against one of the doors.

Pretending to play with my phone, I have been secretly looking at Ji Chenfeng across from me, looking at his straight legs, his slender fingers, and his crow-feather-like eyelashes when he lowered his eyes. Unlike me, the other person took out the sign language book from his backpack and started flipping through it carefully as soon as he got in the carriage. It seemed like he had already started preparing for the next class, completely ignoring me.

Just after two stops, as we passed by the stadium station, a large wave of fans who had just watched the football game suddenly surged in. Everyone had paint on their faces and was dressed in uniform clothing. They chatted excitedly about the game that had just ended not long ago, without controlling their volume at all, and the entire carriage became crowded and noisy.

I was squeezed in front of Ji Chenfeng, or rather, I volunteered to be squeezed in front of him.

Behind me was the sweat of the fans, and in front of me was the refreshing soap fragrance of Ji Chenfeng. I leaned slightly closer to him, almost greedily breathing in his scent.

Suddenly, something hard pressed against my chest, and when I lowered my head, it turned out to be the sign language book that Ji Chenfeng had been reading before.

Across the thick book, Ji Chenfeng pressed against me and frowned, whispering, “You’re too close.”

Why? Does it feel too dirty if you touch it directly? Do you have to use a book to separate yourself from me?

“But it’s very crowded.” I looked innocent and squeezed towards him again without any push from the back.

Ji Chenfeng’s muscles tensed up and he tried his best to resist, but I still found the opportunity to grab his arm and press against his flesh.

“Sorry, Teacher Ji.” I apologized with a smile, without any sincerity. My fingertips caressed the opponent’s strong arm muscles, leaving behind ambiguous touches.

The air conditioner in the carriage was running well, but I didn’t know whether it was because I was squeezed in or if it’s because my body was already hot, but I started to sweat.

I stared intently at Ji Chenfeng, my heart pounding with excitement as I approached him for the first time in three months.

I am obviously so close to him, but I still miss him so much.

I miss him so much, I miss him so much, I want to kiss him so much…

I leaned forward and couldn’t help but want to kiss him in public.

He pushed me away in shock, widening the distance between the two, and his expression became angry: “Sang Nian!”

I came back to my senses and found that many people around me were already looking towards us.

I relaxed my body and let Ji Chenfeng push me away. I didn’t try to get closer again, and Ji Chenfeng turned his face to the side, not wanting to communicate with me anymore.

When my stop arrived, I didn’t get off, and still leaned against the door. Within a few minutes, it was time for Ji Chenfeng to get off, and I followed him out of the carriage.

After exiting the platform and passing through the gate, I headed all the way to the Fly City late at night. Standing far behind Ji Chenfeng, not too far but not too close, I didn’t approach him rashly and always kept an appropriate distance.

Walking up the steps one after the other, both of us were silent. The moonlight tonight was particularly bright. As long as you raise your head slightly, you can see the huge full moon hanging high in the night sky. This also makes this long dark staircase less difficult to walk.

Why get off the train with him and go home with him? In fact, I can’t even explain it myself.

I just…want to stay with him for a little longer, and I don’t want tonight to end like this.

Send him home, watch him enter the door, and then I’ll leave.

“How long are you going to follow me?” Ji Chenfeng in front stopped, his hoarse and cold voice echoing on the long steps.

I couldn’t help but stop and look up at his back.

“Have you read those greeting cards?”

Ji Chenfeng turned around and said with a look as if he didn’t understand what I was doing: “So what if I look at it and what if I don’t?”

It seems there’s nothing I can do.

My eyes fell on Ji Chenfeng’s right hand: “How is your hand? Is it okay?”

I couldn’t help but want to touch, but as soon as my fingertips touched the back of his hand, Ji Chenfeng reacted violently and avoided it.

“Don’t touch me.” He lowered his eyes, his emotions surging inside, and his hatred was beyond words. “Never touch me again.”

I slowly retracted my hand, and the bitter taste spread from the back of my tongue. I nodded and said, “Okay, I won’t touch you.”

He gave me a deep glance and turned around to continue walking upwards.

Looking at Ji Chenfeng’s back, I took a deep breath and shouted to him loudly without any warning: “I’m sorry!”

At this age, whether I am arrogant or domineering, except for a few times when I have to bow my head to Sang Zhengbai, I am always the one who accepts other people’s apologies and is flattered.

And even if I relented to Sang Zhengbai and said I was sorry, I actually never felt that I was at fault. This is the first time that I sincerely apologized for what I have said and done, and asked for forgiveness.

Ji Chenfeng’s steps didn’t pause at all, and as if he had found a good way to deal with my constant temptation, he once again used the method of “listening but not hearing” and removed his cochlear implant.

I stood blankly on the steps, feeling a mix of emotions in my heart.

The person who once said he liked any voice now only hates my voice.

I don’t know how to move forward, but I’m not willing to retreat like this. I can only stand there like a fool and hope that a miracle will happen again.

However, God didn’t help me this time. Ji Chenfeng climbed up the stairs and quickly entered the corridor in front of his house. He took out the key, opened the door, and entered the house, never looking back at me from the beginning to the end.

I sighed inwardly, thinking that the road is long and arduous, and there’s nowhere to go. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and I can’t win Ji Chenfeng back in a day or two. Although I was disappointed, it was just as expected.

Turning around, I planned to leave when I suddenly heard the old iron door behind me open again with a “creak”. I looked back in surprise and saw a familiar cardboard box being thrown out of the opened door on the ground like garbage.

Then, the door closed again, as if it had never been opened.

Feeling stunned for a moment, I walked up two steps, gradually quickened my pace, and ran to the corridor. Gasping for breath, I looked at the greeting cards scattered on the ground, feeling a bit ridiculous, but also a little unbelievable.

He actually used such a simple and crude method to reject my request for peace. It is said that people with a good temper are the worst when angry, and I really saw it today.

Crouching down, I straightened the cardboard box and picked up the scattered greeting cards one by one.

If I had known earlier, I would have sealed it with glue, and now I don’t even know if he really opened it and looked at it…

There was a layer of black dirt on the ground all year round, and several envelopes accidentally got stained, which couldn’t be wiped off.

After everything was packed up, I stood up, holding the cardboard box between my arms and raising my hand towards the blue iron door. But my knuckles froze a second before touching the door panel, and I hesitated for a while before finally giving up.

Forget it, if people don’t want it, why force it. Even if I stuffed it in today, it might appear in the trash can tomorrow.

“I am taking the things away… Good night.” I didn’t know if he could hear me, but after speaking to the motionless door, I turned around and left.

It was already late at night when I got home. I casually left the cardboard box at the door and collapsed onto the sofa. Although I didn’t do anything, I felt extremely tired.

Thinking on the bright side, if he was really so disgusted when he found out that these greeting cards were from me, he could have thrown away the box at that time. Keeping it until now, doesn’t it prove…that he still has some attachment towards me?

After a short rest, I got up and walked into the bedroom, opened the safe and took out the red ring box.

Gently opening the small velvet box, there are two plain silver rings placed side by side. The original two rings, one large and one small, have now been changed to similar sizes.

Touching the two rings, my heart was filled with sorrow.

When can it be given away? If it were Mrs. Sang’s relic, Ji Chenfeng probably wouldn’t throw it away, but he would probably be more disgusted with me for forcing him to accept the gift in this way.

Wait a minute…

Suddenly an idea came to my mind. Gift, birthday… Doesn’t Ji Chenfeng still owe me a birthday wish?

On my birthday last year, he said that quitting smoking was his promise to me. In addition, I could also ask for another birthday gift.

Looking at the ring, I smiled foolishly. 

As people say, every cloud has a silver lining, and… there is always a way out.

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