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Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 69

That was just an accident. I drank alcohol, lost my mind, and took too many pills. At that time, I wanted to escape reality, but I didn’t want to die.

I don’t want Ji Chenfeng to know. Firstly, because I’m afraid that he will misunderstand me as a weak person, and secondly, because I’m afraid it will put a psychological burden on him, making him feel like he was the one who forced me into that situation.

I don’t need him to treat me with caution, I just want him to love me like before.

After waiting anxiously on the hospital bed for more than ten minutes, Xu Xi finally came back, but Ji Chenfeng was nowhere to be seen.

“He went to buy hospital supplies for you.” Xu Xi sat down next to my hospital bed.

I gestured for her to give me her phone, then opened the memo and communicated with her by typing.

“What were you talking about?”

Xu Xi pushed the hair on her cheek behind her ear and looked away, saying, “It’s nothing, we just talked about some things related to you.”

“What things?”

I typed quickly and put the phone screen in front of her, forcing her to look at it.

Xu Xi glanced at the screen, pushed my hand away, then looked at me with complex eyes for a while. She let out a long sigh and said: “About what happened back then, rationally, I know that both of you are victims, and I should treat everyone equally and give the same treatment and care to both of you. The problems between you two should be handled by yourselves, and I shouldn’t interfere blindly. However… people’s hearts are not fair, and they often can’t do it right.”

I was stunned for a moment and slowly put down the phone.

“For Chenfeng, no matter what kind of life he wants to live, I understand and support him. I will not try to control him or inquire about the things he doesn’t want me to know. If he needs me, I will be there. If he doesn’t need me, I’ll just wait there. But when it comes to you, I can’t leave you alone…”

“When the weather gets cold, I start to worry about whether you are wearing enough clothes. If you don’t call me for a long time, I will have to inquire about your current situation from Tang Bian. Knowing that you have no place to live, I have already thought about taking you back home even if I have to tie you up.” At this point, Xu Xi smiled and said, “You are no longer my sister’s child, but you are still my child.”

You are only ten years older than me. What do you mean by “my child”? I felt goosebumps all over my body and my stomach felt a bit uncomfortable.

But looking back, she has indeed been very tolerant of me since childhood, or rather spoiled me.

In the past, whenever I had trouble with Sang Zhengbai, she always played the role of mediator. Afraid that I had nothing to do, she even arranged a manager position for me in her company that didn’t require me to do anything. I used to be extreme, thinking that she valued me because I was Xu Wanyi’s child, the child of Xu Wanyi and Sang Zhengbai. According to my thinking, all the care she gave me was because of her nostalgia for Xu Wanyi and her business relationship with Sang Zhengbai.

But perhaps it’s not as complicated as I thought. She tolerated me, spoiled me, and favored me, not because of nostalgia or interests, but simply because…she loves me.

“I told him that you are not a bad child. It’s just that sometimes your actions are out of control and driven by strong emotions. You are already trying to get better. I hope he can give you more time and more opportunities.” Xu Xi said, “This is my first and last time intervening between you two. No matter what happens between you and him in the future, I will unconditionally support your choice.”

Xu Xi has always known how to measure things, which is one of the keys to her long-term success in the modeling business. For her, interfering in other people’s private affairs is already quite presumptuous and impolite behavior. What’s more, the relationship between Ji Chenfeng and me is not just a simple relationship dispute.

There are a lot of things I want to say, and countless thoughts surge up in my heart, but in the end they all turn into one mediocre word.

“Thanks.”

Xu Xi smiled and said, “Thank you for what? It’s my turn to apologize to you.” She took out a new wet tissue and wiped an area of my neck for me. It must be because I didn’t wipe it carefully just now and missed it.

Before Ji Chenfeng came back, I drove Xu Xi away. It’s not like I’m terminally ill, so I really don’t need her to stay here to take care of me.

Before leaving, Xu Xi asked me to seriously consider staying at her place, saying that there are enough rooms anyway, and Ji Chenfeng and I won’t have to share a room.

How can this be called “no problem”? If there is really one room per person, the problem will be huge.

I didn’t mention this matter to Ji Chenfeng and didn’t even have the slightest idea of letting him feel the warmth from his aunt. I made up my mind that I would rather not find a house and stay in a hotel than stay at Xu Xi’s house with him.

I thought Ji Chenfeng would immediately talk to me about the accident a few months ago. But perhaps due to concerns about my physical condition, besides frequently asking me how I felt, whether I feel suffocated or dizzy and whether I want to sleep, he just took care of me carefully, just like every time I get sick before.

Six hours after the fire, tissue edema began to intensify, and the pain in my throat was so obvious that even swallowing became difficult. It was very uncomfortable to fall asleep while sitting up, but when I finally fell asleep, I was either woken up by a cough or a sore throat.

Due to fatigue and physical discomfort, my temper became bad.

I pushed the cup that Ji Chenfeng put to my mouth with force, and the water inside spilled out, making the back of Ji Chenfeng’s hand and a small piece of bed sheet wet.

“I told you to go to sleep. If I am thirsty, I can drink the water myself.”

Putting the cup on the bedside table, Ji Chenfeng took out a tissue and wiped the water on the back of his hand, then pressed the tissue to suck the water on the sheets.

Throwing away the tissue, he sat back on his small bench with a slight frown and said, “How can I sleep until your condition gets stable?”

If he had also lost his temper with me, I could still maintain my momentum, but now he is talking to me with such a worried tone and expression, not to mention my momentum, even my heart can’t take it.

“Aren’t you tired?” I asked.

Ji Chenfeng shook his head and said, “I’m used to it.”

I don’t know if it’s because he is used to staying up late or because he is used to taking care of patients.

Since neither of us could sleep, we might as well start chatting.

After the fire was extinguished, Uncle Li called Ji Chenfeng again and told him that although the house wasn’t burned, black smoke entered the house and it was pitch black everywhere. Without some renovations, it would be impossible to live in it.

Fly City was originally a place for the poor people, and the perpetrator had already died in the fire. It was impossible to get compensation. There is no other option but to consider yourself unlucky.

“Where will we live until the house is repaired?”

“Jian Xing said that we can live in the pet hospital first. The attic happens to be empty. After a little cleaning, it can act as an accommodation for a while.”

Living in the pet hospital is also good. This way, I can spend more time with him.

In the latter half of the night, although it was difficult to fall asleep, I fell asleep intermittently due to being too tired.

Every time I wake up, Ji Chenfeng will put down his phone to confirm my condition, and only after receiving a positive response will he feel at ease.

When I woke up again from the pain due to swallowing, I opened my eyes in a daze and saw Ji Chenfeng staring at his phone by the bed, lost in thought. I moved my body and he immediately looked over.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. What are you looking at?”

Ji Chenfeng looked at his phone and handed it to me.

“Huarong Pass ( Puzzle game). I was afraid of falling asleep. It’s just to keep myself awake.”

I took it and saw that he had completed 79 steps and had 11 steps left.

Each level in Huarong Pass has its own fixed number of steps. Although you can pass the level if you exceed it, it cannot be considered the optimal solution.

Move the minions, then Guan Yu, Cao Cao, and the soldiers… After some operations, the game was successfully cleared in 90 steps.

These are all leftovers from playing when I was a child, and they are not challenging at all.

Returning the phone to Ji Chenfeng, I patted the bed next to me and motioned for him to sit over.

“I want to watch you play.”

Ji Chenfeng glanced at the clearance screen on his phone and sat down as he was told.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I watched him play the game and acted as a golden finger for him. When he couldn’t progress and reached a dead end, I would lend a helping hand and guide him through the level.

Dr. Ji, who is good at everything and only makes mistakes in games, is particularly cute. At first, I held such thoughts.

But later on, as the levels became increasingly difficult and he made more and more mistakes, such thoughts disappeared.

Tsk, how could you do it like that?

Sometimes, before he can continue, I can’t help but grab the phone and complete the following steps for him.

After staying in the hospital for three days, my edema began to subside slowly, and Ji Chenfeng finally had time to deal with the matter of the house. Jian Xing also went to help and took some clothes back to his home for cleaning and drying. At the same time, the two of them also cleaned up the attic of the pet hospital and arranged simple furniture.

On the second night, Ji Chenfeng’s fatigue was already written on his face, and even Huarong Pass couldn’t lift his spirit. He drank a lot of black coffee without sugar, and when he got close to me, I could even smell the faint bitterness on his body.

I was afraid that he would get sick from exhaustion, so I forcibly took away his cochlear implant. He begged to no avail and could only lie down by the bed under my gaze to rest. After a while, his breathing became even and he slowly fell asleep.

On the third day, the edema subsided and I could finally speak, but my voice was hoarse and not very pleasant. Ji Chenfeng felt completely relieved that night and borrowed the hospital’s recliner to sleep next to me, but he still refused to remove the cochlear implant.

On the fourth day, the doctor allowed me to be discharged from the hospital, and Jian Xing came to take us back to the pet hospital.

Although the attic of the pet hospital is quite large, it has been used as a warehouse due to insufficient height. This time, an area of more than ten square meters was cleared, with a temporary iron frame bed, a plastic wardrobe, a foldable table, and several plastic chairs.

There is a small skylight on the top for ventilation and lighting. The sound insulation is relatively poor, you can clearly hear the dog barking downstairs.

I thought that Fly City was already the lowest limit of my living environment in this lifetime, but I never imagined that it could fall even further.

The only thing that comforted me was that we finally had air conditioning— the attic was too hot and stuffy, so Jian Xing urgently installed an air conditioner for us. Just for this reason, I decided to be less hostile towards him and be more enthusiastic in the future.

The fourth night after the fire– it was also the first night I stayed in the attic of the pet hospital. After a busy day, Ji Chenfeng almost fell asleep as soon as he lay down. I tried to close my eyes and woke up again within two hours. I can’t help it, I’ve slept too much these days.

Can’t sleep, there’s nothing to do either. The skylight had no curtains, and the moonlight shone in, faintly lighting up the dimly lit attic. With this hazy light, I could clearly see Ji Chenfeng’s back.

Wide and sturdy, giving people a sense of security. In appearance, he is by no means a weak person. But strangely enough, sometimes I feel that he is so fragile, making me want to protect and cherish him.

Hugging him from behind, my fingers wandered all the way from his chest to his well-defined lower abdomen. I wanted to go further down, but the person in front of me breathed heavily and moved, grabbing my hand that was causing trouble.

“Sleep…” Ji Chenfeng said in a low voice.

“Can’t sleep.” We were very close to each other, and without saying much, he should be able to feel how good my “spirit” was. “Dr. Ji, the place has been changed. Does the half-year agreement still count?”

Ji Chenfeng gradually woke up after being rubbed by me. He stiffened a little and said, “What do you think?”

“If you ask me, then I will definitely say it’s not the case.” I gently kissed the back of his neck, and as I spoke, my hot breath blew on his skin, “How can you trust and forgive me? If I could, I really want to dig out my heart and show it to you. See if it only belongs to you from beginning to the end.”

Ji Chenfeng remained speechless for a while upon hearing this. If it weren’t for my hand still being held by him, I would have doubted whether he had fallen asleep again without knowing it.

I broke free from his constraints, moved back a bit, lied flat, and deliberately spoke in a sticky and ambiguous tone.

“If you don’t want to play with me, then I have to play by myself.”

I made many strange sounds, all of which were the most annoying in the past— A thin and hoarse voice calling “Doctor Ji” like a dying patient, a trembling voice as if crying, and the creaking and shaking of the bed.

If he can bear this temptation, what I may need to consider is not whether he forgives me, but which hospital I should take him to for treatment.

I had been holding it in for too long, and with Ji Chenfeng right next to me, it was a different kind of stimulation. I bit my lip and dirtied my hands within a few minutes.

I used this hand to touch Ji Chenfeng’s face.

“Ji Chenfeng, I love you.” My brain was flooded with dopamine, bringing me great pleasure. In a lazy tone afterwards, I smiled and revealed my heart to Ji Chenfeng again.

Just as my fingertips touched the warm skin, my wrist was grabbed by a strong force. In the next moment, Ji Chenfeng came over my body, pressed one hand beside my head, and pinched my chin with the other hand. Then with a hint of annoyance, he leaned over and kissed me.

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