Snowlyme

Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 61

“Both of us… are pitiful, two pitiful people that no one likes…”

“It’s not pitiful” He gently stroked the top of my hair with my hand, “Actually, I… already recognized you a long time ago. What I liked wasn’t just your voice. No, what I liked was far more than your voice. How could no one like it?”

Ji Chenfeng’s voice sounded close to my ears, mixed with some joy and some sadness.

“…You obviously have so much that I love.”

When I opened my eyes, the room was dark, with a small night lamp on the bedside.

So what he said last time was this…

My thoughts were still stuck in the dream. After a brief period of confusion, as I woke up, I gradually remembered where I was— Ji Chenfeng’s bedroom.

My body was still sore and weak, heavier and hotter than usual, and I still had a low-grade fever.

I sat up holding the gauze on my shoulders, and the blanket slipped off my body, leaving me with nothing but a pair of underwear. I curiously looked at this mysterious bedroom, wanting to see what Ji Chenfeng was hiding here, but I didn’t find anything unusual.

The room was only eight or nine square meters, with a 1.5-meter iron frame bed placed against the window. Instead of a bedside table beside the bed, a small desk was used. There are some storage boards nailed to the wall and many books are placed there. Going further is the wardrobe, a simple style with two wooden doors, so small that it’s not even enough to hold my clothes of one season.

The noise of the range hood accompanied by the aroma of food came through the door to the bedroom. I opened the curtains and took a look. It was already dark outside, around six or seven o’clock at least.

I slept all day…

Picking up the water glass from the desk, I found that the water was still warm. Ji Chenfeng didn’t go to work today, did he take leave to take care of me?

Recalling what happened last night, I covered my eyes in embarrassment.

“I won’t quarrel with you again… Lock me up, put shackles on me, and treat me as you please… I only want you … as long as there’s you, it’s enough…”

The bodily fluids in the body seemed to be rushing out, and tears accumulated in my eyes. As I choked, they fell from the ends of my eyes, sliding into the temples.

Ji Chenfeng grabbed my wrist with his other hand and pulled it away without much force.

My heart sank, and I curled up my fingers, thinking he meant to refuse, but instead of letting my hand go, he actually stuffed it back into the quilt.

He tucked the quilt for me again and said, “I’m just going out to get a glass of water and I’ll be back soon. Just close your eyes and rest for now. We’ll talk about it after you recover.”

I don’t want to wait until I recover from my illness before talking. After I recover, he won’t be so easy to talk to. But before I could say anything more, his palms covered my eyes.

I plunged into the darkness, and his low coaxing sounded in my ears.

“Be good.” He repeated over and over again, “Stop crying…”

I seem to have returned to my childhood, and all the suppressed grievances, tears, and pains were vented tonight.

“I’m already very good…”

The palm of his hand trembled slightly, and Ji Chenfeng seemed to smile.

“Be a little better.”

How could I be better?

I still wanted to ask for more information, but my drowsy consciousness didn’t allow it. My sore and swollen eyes couldn’t hold on any longer, and in the end, I couldn’t help but close them. When I opened them again, it was now…

It’s unbelievable that I actually held Ji Chenfeng’s hand and cried to him, asking him not to drive me away? I’m really crazy.

I can only say that everything that happened yesterday was a bit beyond my tolerance threshold. In addition, illness naturally makes people particularly vulnerable. In the end, the combination of the two eventually led to my collapse.

That’s right, I’m just guilty of the same mistakes that all adults are guilty of, and that’s okay.

The sound of the range hood outside suddenly went silent. I came back to my senses, put down the water glass, and quickly lay back down again. After a while, the door was gently pushed open, and the aroma of food became even stronger.

The footsteps stopped by the bed, and the other party put down something and came over to touch my forehead.

He put his warm palm against my cheek, and his thumb rubbed the skin around my eyes for a long time. At first, I was a little puzzled, but then I suddenly realized that he was probably touching my scar.

At that time, I was hit in the corner of the eye by Sang Zhengbai with a metal pen holder, and I went to the hospital to get several stitches. Because absorbable sutures were used, the scar left after recovery is not obvious and cannot be seen if you look don’t carefully. I almost forgot that there was a scar here.

Taking his fingers away from my cheek, Ji Chenfeng shook my shoulder very gently and said, “Sang Nian…”

My eyelashes trembled slightly, and I slowly opened my eyes, pretending to have just woken up.

Ji Chenfeng helped me up, put a pillow on my back, and dragged a chair to sit beside the bed.

“I cooked some porridge. You haven’t eaten anything all day. After eating, you can go to sleep again.” 

While speaking, he picked up the small bowl on the desk and scooped up a spoonful of porridge, then blew on it slightly before handing it to my lips.

I had no appetite at all, but because it was the porridge Ji Chenfeng specially cooked for me, so even if I couldn’t eat it, I still opened my mouth and swallowed it obediently.

After eating takeout for several months, my nose felt slightly sour when I tasted the familiar taste again. I lowered my eyes, not daring to look at Ji Chenfeng again.

It’s great that he can be soft-hearted towards me, but I don’t always want to show my vulnerable side to him.

After eating more than half of the bowl, I couldn’t eat anymore. Ji Chenfeng didn’t force me, helped me lie down, and went out with the bowl and cup. After a few minutes, he came in again and placed a cup of hot water on the desk.

Afraid that he would leave again, I grabbed the corner of his clothes when he turned around and urged him to stay: “Don’t leave…”

He didn’t move or speak, just froze for a moment before his body turned back, and he actually compromised.

“Move inside a little bit.”

Trying to suppress the excitement in my heart, I retracted my hand and carefully moved out of my original position.

Ji Chenfeng sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard without lying down.

“Go to sleep.” A hand covered my eyes and he urged me to sleep.

After finally sleeping on the same bed, how could it be possible for me to sleep like this?

It’s a shame that my body is so weak and tired right now, otherwise it would be unreasonable for me to let go of such a good opportunity.

“Is it okay that you didn’t go to work today?” I blinked twice and asked after a moment.

“I took a day off.”

“What if… it’s not fine by tomorrow?”

“One more day, please.”

I raised my hand and tried to touch the hand covering my eyes. My fingertips fell on the back of the hand, grasping it little by little. He didn’t reject me and allowed me to touch him.

I closed my eyes, and this time not only my nose, but my heart also began to feel sour.

“I didn’t know Lu Sui would be there yesterday…I didn’t mean it…”

Ji Chenfeng’s hand moved slightly. I was afraid that he would take it away, so I quickly clenched it cautiously.

He didn’t move anymore and relaxed his hand: “Zheng Jieyuan called and told me everything.”

I don’t know for a moment whether I should scold Zheng Jieyuan for his big mouth or thank him for his outstanding contribution to my love life.

“…Is he okay?”

Finally, I decided to change the subject.

“He didn’t say much about himself. He only said that he would leave the car with you and pick it up when he has time.”

When he has time? Is he still with Shi Hao? Otherwise, how could he not be free?

Even though it was Zheng Jieyuan’s own choice, I couldn’t help but worry about him. After all, Shi Hao is so unconventional that I don’t know what he might do. Let’s just wait for now, I will call him tomorrow and show concern…

“Does it hurt?”

Feeling stunned for a moment, I thought Ji Chenfeng was asking me if the wound hurt now, so I hurriedly said: “It’s much better. It won’t hurt if I don’t move.”

Ji Chenfeng calmed down and then said, “I mean, did it hurt yesterday?”

The word “no” came to my lips, but I swallowed it back when I remembered that my situation wasn’t very good right now, and I was in danger of being driven away at any time.

“Hmm…” I said, “It hurts.”

Holding his arm, I spent the whole night clinging to Ji Chenfeng’s side, afraid that he would leave while I was asleep.

The next morning, I woke up before six o’clock.

Ji Chenfeng was still asleep, lying quietly next to me, and the cochlear implant on his auricle was not removed all night.

Staring at the black instrument that looked like a Bluetooth headset, I suddenly realized something was wrong.

No matter how thin the door panel is, how on earth did he discover those abnormalities in me if he fell asleep without the cochlear implant? No matter how loud I cry because of the nightmare, he shouldn’t have heard me.

Telepathy? Or is it that he never slept without the cochlear implant ever since I moved in?

The transmission mode of artificial cochlea is completely different from that of the naturally generated cochlea in the human body. Ordinary people mainly receive sound through air and bone conduction. Hearing impaired individuals who can be implanted with cochlear implants have their auditory system damaged and can only convert sound into code through external language processors, forming electrical pulses to stimulate the auditory nerves, which are then translated into various sounds by the brain.

Ordinary people will only feel noisy when listening to sound, but they don’t feel tired. However, people with cochlear implants are prone to auditory fatigue due to the constant need to concentrate on listening to sound, especially…. People with unilateral cochlear implants.

Now that I thought about it carefully, from the time I met him, even if the cochlear implant ran out of power, he always worked hard to understand what I mean. There was never a situation where my needs were missed because they weren’t heard.

There’s so much that he loved about me, so much that even if he knows that I am despicable and shameless, he still can’t do anything about the love that cannot be consumed. And the biggest punishment he could think of for me was to stop listening to my voice.

I’m so stupid, why should I care about what that idiot Zhou Jiyu said? What kind of hero complex is it? What else is it if not love? As long as Ji Chenfeng loves me, does it matter whether he sees me as a hero or a dragon, a stone or a flower?

I wanted to remove the cochlear implant for Ji Chenfeng and let him have a good rest. But as soon as my fingers touched the instrument on his ear, his eyelashes trembled and he woke up slowly.

It was too late to pretend to be asleep, and he caught me.

“You’re awake…” I had no choice but to retract my hand with a dry smile.

Perhaps it was because he didn’t get enough rest after taking care of me for the past two days, and his reaction was a little slow. It took him a while to fully wake up and sit up from the bed. The first thing he did was pick up the thermometer on the table and take my temperature.

“37, the fever has almost subsided.” Putting the thermometer back on the table, he lifted the quilt and got out of bed while rubbing the back of his neck, “I’ll take a look at your wound after breakfast…”

“I want to take a shower.” I sat up.

Opening the desk drawer, Ji Chenfeng took off the cochlear implant, picked out the spare battery from the drawer, and replaced it with the one that had insufficient power.

“No, your wound can’t touch the water.”

Although it’s only been a day since I took a shower, it’s so hot now, and there’s no air conditioning at home. I’ve sweated so much before that I feel like I’m going to rot.

“But I want to take a shower…” After he put on the cochlear implant again, I spoke again, “I will be careful not to touch the wound. Please, Doctor Ji.”

Upon hearing this, Ji Chenfeng stood still for a while in front of his desk. After struggling for a while, he sighed and said, “Then let’s wash it at night.”

I raised the corners of my lips, trying not to be so proud.

After breakfast, Ji Chenfeng asked me to go back to the bedroom and continue lying down. He would come and change the gauze for me after he finished cleaning the kitchen.

It’s over. My sense of taste may have been burned out. It was obvious that I ate salty porridge, but the sweetness in my mouth couldn’t go away…

I obediently went back to my room and lay down. Suddenly, I remembered that I hadn’t taken my medicine for two days, so I sat up again, sneaked into the living room, and opened my suitcase.

Picking out two pills from the bottle, I found that there was no water in the living room. I was about to go back to the bedroom when Ji Chenfeng’s voice suddenly sounded behind me.

“What are you looking for?”

Hearing the voice, my hand shook and a pill fell to the ground. The small rose-red pill, as if it had eyes, passed between my legs and rolled towards Ji Chenfeng behind me.

I hurriedly turned around, but it was too late to step on it. The small pill rolled to Ji Chenfeng’s feet, and he bent down to pick it up.

“What is this?” He put the pill to his nose and took a sniff, then looked at me with a frown.

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