Snowlyme

Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 30

Why on earth are you asking for other people’s permission at a time like this?

If you give the other party a choice and then get angry because of rejection, doesn’t it cut off the possibility of saying “no” from the beginning? Aren’t you being too cunning?

Even though Ji Chenfeng didn’t know that I didn’t really have a choice, I still felt… angry no matter how I thought about it. Even if we are going to break through the final bottom line, shouldn’t he be the one to stick up his butt and ask for my “patronage”?

Although I don’t have any interest in a man’s body, if he just lies there and lets me look at his back only, it’s not impossible to imagine him as a tall woman. Holding my nose and sowing seeds in his wasteland, filling him with my breath from the inside out, from body to heart. This should be the normal direction of our relationship, right?

Instead of being like this… now…

“I didn’t prepare anything, isn’t it too… hasty?” I smiled dryly and propped myself up on my elbows, trying to negotiate with Ji Chenfeng, “Otherwise, why don’t you do it like the last time?”

Ji Chenfeng bent over and pressed his palms against my chest. He flexibly unbuttoned my shirt with his slender fingers, as if he was not listening to me at all.

His actions may seem gentle, but in fact it cannot be resisted.

I nervously swallowed my saliva and felt flustered because of this unfamiliar side of Ji Chenfeng. Holding down his hand, I exerted some force and pulled him away bit by bit. When he turned to look at me with dark eyes, I quickly explained.

“I… I’ll go take a shower.”

The ice in his eyes suddenly dissipated into dense water vapor. He gave a low “hmm” in response, kissed the corners of my lips, and retreated this time.

After closing the bathroom door, I immediately slid down the door panel and sat on the floor, wiping my still hot face and scratching my hair irritably.

Although I had previously imagined that I was “feeding a tiger with my own body”, I never thought of truly dedicating my body to the beast.

It’s too much. All homosexual behavior that invades the inside from the outside is too much. Kissing is already the limit, and everything else is beyond my scope of consideration.

For the first time, I reflected on whether it was a mistake to manipulate Ji Chenfeng with my emotions. After all, he gave his affection because he wanted to obtain what he needed from me. If I fail to give it, his affection will fade, and in the end, like those women, he will also curse and leave me.

However, wouldn’t this put me in a dilemma? Even if I don’t want to, I have to give it in order not to waste all of my previous efforts.

If there was no sound of water, Ji Chenfeng might become suspicious. So, I got up, took off my clothes, and stepped into the shower, taking the longest bath of my life.

Anyway, after drinking alcohol, why not just pretend to be faint? No matter how much you like men, you can’t be interested in a “dead body”, right?

Or…sacrifice my mouth? Staring at myself in the mirror, my eyes swept over the lips that looked particularly rosy because I had just taken a shower. Suddenly I felt that this was also a solution.

Gou Jian endured three years of humiliation before he finally won the trust of the King of Wu. He endured many hardships before he became the supreme leader of his generation. Gou Jian can lick the gall to motivate himself, so what does it matter if I lick a lollipop?

Curling my fingers, I was unable to move, as if the doorknob had just been licked by the tongue of fire, leaving a scorching warmth. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and asked in a natural tone: “Dr. Ji, do you want to take a shower too?”

Upon hearing my voice, Ji Chenfeng turned around from the floor-to-ceiling windows where he was standing. He looked at me for a while without saying nothing, and then walked towards me.

As he got closer, my heart started beating increasingly faster, and my back was pressed against the door frame. For some reason, I didn’t dare to look at him and turned my head to avoid his gaze.

Soon, he stopped in front of me.

“Blow dry your hair, be careful of catching a cold.”

The ends of my hair were twirled by his fingertips, and a faint smell of tobacco wafted over my nose. After Ji Chenfeng finished speaking, he passed by me to go to the bathroom.

I touched my hair, which was still dripping with water, and then touched the position of my heart. Just now… it felt so itchy. It was as if my heart was in sync with my hair. It was obviously the hair which was touched, but the tip of my heart seemed to be tickled by Ji Chenfeng’s fingers.

I followed him back to the bathroom, picked up a hair dryer, and started drying my hair while watching him through the mirror.

The body, covered in tight muscles, was exposed in front of me, it wasn’t the exaggerated bulging type, nor the thin type that would fade away easily. Everything was just right, as perfect as an ancient Greek marble statue.

This is the first time I have really looked at his body in sufficient light. It can be said that this type of body could easily make people of the same sex quite frustrated, but it is also easy to receive praise from the same sex.

Not long after Ji Chenfeng stepped into the shower room, there was a sound of rushing water coming from inside.

Putting down the hair dryer, I looked at myself in the mirror. As I recited silently “Endure the hardships and lick the gall,” I licked my lips and took off the bathrobe I had just put on a short time ago. Then walking outside the shower room, I held the metal handle and gently pushed open a crack.

“Dr. Ji, can I come in?”

The sound of water never stopped, and a large amount of water vapor was formed due to the difference in temperature between the inside and outside, which hazily rushed towards my face, making me squint my eyes unconsciously.

Without waiting for Ji Chenfeng’s reply, I remembered that he would remove the external part of the cochlear implant before taking a shower, so of course he wouldn’t be able to hear my voice.

I pushed open the door a bit wider, even if he couldn’t hear me, I still spoke.

“Dr. Ji, I am coming in…” Before I could finish my words, a wet palm reached out from the misty shower room and grabbed my wrist, pulling me in forcefully.

Amidst the huge water vapor that makes it difficult for people to breathe, the water falling from the shower fell on my skin along with Ji Chenfeng’s kiss.

“I thought you didn’t want to…”

My palms were supported on the frosted glass partition, and the fingers were continuously stretching and tightening, leaving struggling handprints on the glass covered with water mist.

Some vague sound couldn’t help but come out of my mouth, but I used my perseverance to swallow it back, even though Ji Chenfeng couldn’t hear anything.

Damn it, how could this happen?

Because he couldn’t hear it, I couldn’t tell him my true intentions. Of course I can also escape by using force, but that would be the end of the whole thing, right?

Damn it…fuck…fuck…

Unprecedentedly, I cursed profusely throughout the whole process. I scolded Yan Shanhua for not taking good care of Ji Chenfeng and making him a useless person who couldn’t hear anything. I scolded Lu Sui for helping me back to the room, and letting me be caught by Ji Chenfeng. I also scolded Zheng Jieyuan. Why is the bathroom in his hotel so poorly ventilated and the water so hot? It is… almost burning me to death!

Finally, I pushed open a crack in the glass door of the shower room to allow fresh air to come in, but Ji Chenfeng seemed to misunderstand my intention. He hooked my waist with one hand and the metal door handle with the other, sealing the small crack I had just opened.

The water carried away the sweat, along with my physical strength.

Suspecting that I was lacking oxygen and feeling powerless, I couldn’t help but kneel on the ground.

Ji Chenfeng grabbed my waist, turned my face, and kissed me amidst the continuous sound of water, absorbing the remaining oxygen in my mouth. Suddenly I became even more dizzy, my eyelashes, fingers, waist, and even my knees were trembling.

No more, I’m really going to die…

Being drunk and deprived of oxygen, my consciousness became a bit blurry afterwards. It was like having a very tired dream. I dreamed that I was climbing a snowy mountain that no one could conquer. Climbing all the way, the ice almost covered my whole feet. My body reached its limit, every joint was aching, my waist and legs were no longer working, and my heart could hardly bear the burden of such a difficult journey.

Unfortunately, I am already halfway there, and besides continuing, I had no other choice. So I could only drag my tired body and continue to climb towards the top of the mountain step by step amid constant cursing.

“Damn it, why does it have to grow so big? Why can’t it be as small as other mountains?” I asked the mountain, but received no response.

I felt as if I’m about to vomit at any time, my stomach felt very uncomfortable, and my heart was about to explode. Just stop here, please…

No one heard the silent prayer in my heart.

My voice that had been patient at first could no longer bear it anymore and began to collapse as I desperately pleaded for mercy. I prayed to the deity of this snowy mountain to quickly end this trial.

However, after praying devoutly for a long time and realizing that it was completely useless, I began to curse again. I cursed breathlessly in a trembling voice.

Fuck the fate, fuck the heavens, why do you force me to endure such torment? Losing my dignity, seeing me in this embarrassed and humiliated state, are you happy?

But the deity only continued to shower me with strong wind and snow, completely disregarding the life or death of the climbers.

This deity is deaf who cannot hear ordinary sounds.

Finally, as I trembled and knelt down on the top of the mountain, a huge and frantic joy struck me, causing me to bend my body and blend more perfectly with this snowy mountain.

At first, when I only knew how to curse, I was wondering why some people would be interested in this kind of thing. But now I seem to understand it.

The previous violent wind and snow softened, like a lover’s kiss, licking away the tears of excitement on my face.

Every inch of skin, every bone, has weathered into powder, and I can no longer find myself.

I seem to have briefly…lost consciousness.

My vision went dark, and when I woke up again, I was already in bed.

Ji Chenfeng sat on the edge of the bed, he had already put on the cochlear implant on his ear, and was wearing clothes. He was looking at me worriedly: “Are you okay?”

Even though I understand, I still feel nauseated… I feel as if my intestines are going to rot.

Gently stroking my cheek with the back of his hand, Ji Chenfeng asked again: “Do you want some water?”

Raising my soft and powerless hand, I thought that I would scold him a second ago. But as soon as I opened my mouth, it turned into the equally soft and powerless words with no deterrent effect.

“Dr. Ji, do you like the kind of person I am? Do you like it all, huh?” I hooked my arm around Ji Chenfeng’s neck, feeling a bit confused and drunk, “Do you like all the good and the bad in me?”

He obediently allowed me to hook his neck and leaned over to kiss my lips, emitting an indulgent “hmm” from his throat.

After warming me up, he fed me some water to replenish the lost body fluids, and then lay down beside me. However, it seems that he has no intention of staying overnight.

I felt uncomfortable no matter the posture, so I simply put my hands on the sides of my face and lay on the bed.

I was drowsy, keeping my eyes barely open and chatting with Ji Chenfeng. My voice was a bit vague: “…Are my kittens still alive?”

“Yes.” Ji Chenfeng played with my hair casually, “I found a mother cat who had just given birth to be their wet nurse. They are much bigger now.”

“That’s good……”

“Even if they are not her own cubs, the mother cat is still taking good care of them.”

I smiled and said: “After all, she’s a ‘mother’.”

“Well, motherhood drives her…to accept other people’s children.” His fingertips slightly paused, and after a long time, Ji Chenfeng spoke in an uncertain voice, “Sang Nian, it seems like… I am not my mother’s child.”

In an instant, all the previous drowsiness disappeared, and the blood in my body seemed to condense. My lips and tongue trembled, unable to raise my head, let alone use my brain to analyze the current situation.

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