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Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 12

The refreshed feeling I had before falling asleep was completely gone after waking up. Every joint in my body was in pain, my stomach was heavy, and my brain felt exhausted.

I no longer remember the dream I had, the only thing I can confirm is that I spent the whole night shuttling through various fancy dreams all night, without even a moment to breathe.

Is there any way to make this fucking pain go away? Medication doesn’t work, and neither does sex.

Do I really have to die to get rid of this pain?

I lay motionless on the bed. Because my body was too uncomfortable, I couldn’t think of anything in my mind, and just focused on the pain solely, resulting in a vicious circle, which made those discomforts even more prominent.

I didn’t want to move at all, but my body started clamouring for food.

Since Tang Bian was not allowed to come over without permission, it is not possible to have a hot takeaway outside the bedroom at the moment. There seems to be some instant noodles in the cabinet, let’s eat that for now.

Although I had already figured out what to eat and how to make it, my body still felt like it had rusted. After a while, I just sat up, staring blankly at the carpet under my feet.

Yesterday, Ji Chenfeng was kneeling there…

It seemed that his strong grip still lingered on my thighs, causing the place to slightly heat up. The trembling eyelashes, the moist lips, the eyes looking up at me… Just with the memory, the tired body seems to have a feeling again.

I went into the bathroom with the thought that a shower might make me feel better, and made an effort to get rid of the excitement from last night and perhaps restore my body’s vitality.

My mind was full of Ji Chenfeng’s messed up face, but no matter how much my body trembled, no matter how heavily I breathed, the happiness I got was empty. In the end, it ended very sloppily.

I rested my forehead against the tiles, and with the cool water flowing, the dirt on my hands was gradually washed into the drain. My temples hurt as if being pricked by needles, my calves seemed to have been drained of strength, and my ankles started to feel sore. As long as I relaxed slightly, my knees would bend uncontrollably.

It’s so boring.

As my breathing gradually calmed down, I stared at the palm where no traces could be seen, and retracted it slowly.

“Sure enough, it would only work with that mouth…”

Eating instant noodles that were not completely softened and had a terrible taste, I turned on my phone and looked at it. Several missed calls were from Ji Chenfeng yesterday. In addition, there are also a few unread messages from the other party inquiring about my situation, but nothing else after that.

 【Do you want to have dinner together tonight?】

I was too complacent yesterday, no matter what, I should’ve at least pretended to be concerned and asked if he got home safely. But it’s not too late to make up for it now…

Putting down the phone, I concentrated on finishing the noodles, thinking about how to pass the time in the afternoon, when Tang Bian called.

“What’s the matter?”

“I just called to remind you that you have an appointment with Dr. Zhou in the afternoon, don’t forget about it, young master.”

If he didn’t say it, I really would’ve forgotten.

“Do you want me to come and pick you up?” Tang Bian asked.

“No need.”

Zhou Jiyu’s clinic is located in the city centre, in a high-end office building. The city landmark seen from the window is the same as that seen from my floor-to-ceiling windows. It’s much more convenient for me to go there than to go to Ji Chenfeng’s hospital.

“Master, have you fallen in love recently, so you raised your guard against me…”

After finishing the noodles in a few bites, I dropped the fork, wiped my mouth with a tissue on the table, and said, “I am hanging up.”

“Wait, wait!!” Tang Bian yelled anxiously, “There is one more important thing I want to tell you, don’t hang up yet!”

“Then say it quickly.” My speed of hanging up the phone slowed down, and I got up and went to the medicine cabinet in the living room, looking for painkillers.

“That… Shi Hao has returned, he just came back from abroad two days ago.”

The action of pulling out the painkillers paused for two seconds, before I continued to throw the pill into my mouth.

“So what if he came back, what does that have to do with me?”

“Well… he came back to see Mr. Shi for the last time, who passed away last night. Young master, you must not be impulsive when you meet him in the future. Maintaining peace is the most important thing.”

At the beginning of summer, I heard that the old man of the Shi family was dying. I thought he could make it through this year, but I didn’t expect him to die before autumn.

Both the Sang family and the Shi family are influential families in Hong City, and they are inextricably linked in business. Although the two juniors are competitive and unwilling to deal with each other, because of his face, Sang Zhengbai will definitely take me to attend the farewell ceremony.

At that time, it is inevitable that I will have to face Shi Hao.

“My dad asked you to warn me?”

“It’s not a warning, it’s just some advice…”

It is unlikely that Tang Bian will contact Sang Zhengbai directly. The so-called ‘advice’ is probably a task he got from Tang Zhaoyue. And Tang Zhaoyue is not a person who likes to meddle in my affairs, she must have received the instructions from Sang Zhengbai.

Treating his own son is like treating the company’s affairs. He just needs to pass instructions to his confidants, and then they will pass it down layer by layer, finally completing the task.

How convenient.

The capsule was stuck in my throat dryly, because there was no water, it was difficult to swallow it. At the base of the tongue, there was a disgusting bitter taste that even the flavour of instant noodles couldn’t cover.

“When is the farewell ceremony?”

I took out the mineral water from the refrigerator and drank it, but the bitter taste seemed to stick to my throat, and I couldn’t wash it away no matter what.

“The day after tomorrow.”

After hanging up the phone without warning, I leaned down in front of the sink, and tried to dig out the pills in my throat with my fingers.

Saliva mixed with blood was retched, and the taste of blood overcame everything. I pulled out my fingers, which were dyed with a faint red colour, and my throat hurt like hell.

“Fuck……”

I don’t know who to curse, Tang Bian, Sang Zhengbai, or that particularly bitter painkiller.

Zheng Jieyuan should have also heard about the news of Shi Hao’s return to China. I cut off his calls one after another, and finally dragged him into the blacklist.

【Sang Nian, that son of a bitch Shi Hao is back. Be careful when you go out these few days, it is best not to go out, if you really want to go out, remember to call me, I will be your bodyguard!】

I thought it was Ji Chenfeng’s reply, but it turned out to be a message from Zheng Jieyuan.

Don’t you look at your phone during your lunch break?

I threw the phone aside in a bad mood. In front of me, the queue entering the parking garage wasn’t moving at all, not knowing what’s going on. I lowered the window and poked my head out to find out, but I couldn’t see anything.

I unconsciously glanced at the opposite lane, and happened to see Zhou Jiyu getting off a black SUV.

He was wearing a camel long trench coat with a beige sweater and dark suit pants inside. He looked more like a model walking down the runway than a psychologist.

With his hands in his pockets, he watched the passing traffic, preparing to cross the road to this side. The person in the car lowered the window at this moment and stopped him.

The man in the driver’s seat seems like a foreigner with dark chestnut hair and strong facial features.

Zhou Jiyu turned around and walked over suspiciously, without saying a word, the foreign man stretched out a hand, pulled his neck down, and kissed him.

Just like this, the two of them kissed each other in broad daylight on the roadside.

Oh.

And here I was still wondering if being a doctor now requires appearance too. One or two clothes are still very good, but if you are gay, it seems to make sense.

The queue that had been motionless for a long time finally started to move, and I ignored the two gays who were kissing on the roadside, and slowly drove the car to the basement.

When I parked the car and took the elevator to Zhou Jiyu’s psychological counselling clinic, he was already sitting behind his desk waiting for me—this time he learned his lesson and arrived half an hour early.

“I’m glad we’ve met again, Mr. Sang.” He once again put on a gentle mask, but this time, he spoke more cautiously and with more measure, “How do you want to start? Or if you don’t want to do anything, you can just rest here?”

He is a smart man who has fully grasped what I meant last time.

The sofa in the consulting room was soft and comfortable, and the fingertips across the surface can feel the delicate texture of the top layer of cowhide.

I tapped on the armrest of the sofa, and didn’t make a sound for a long time. Zhou Jiyu didn’t rush me, just waited quietly.

“Do you know how to make another person fall in love with you?”

Zhou Jiyu blinked and made a sound of surprise: “Ah…”

“Answer the question I asked you to answer, if you dare to ask one more word, or reveal to others what I told you…” I looked at him blankly, “You can just wait for your life to be worse than death.”

It wasn’t meant to be a joke. Zhou Jiyu felt it clearly, and his expression calmed down in an instant, returning to the previous professional mode.

“Don’t worry, doctors are obliged to keep the privacy of patients confidential, and I won’t disclose anything we discuss here.”

I sneered, but didn’t take it seriously.

“I saw you kissing a foreign man on the roadside. Tell me, how did you make him fall in love with you?”

Excluding money and power, there are not even a few people around who know how to make women obsessed with themselves, let alone men. As for Xu Xi, I can’t talk to her about this topic. Once she got to the bottom of it, it would be dangerous for her to know about Ji Chenfeng’s existence.

Zhou Jiyu didn’t expect the topic to suddenly fall on him, his face changed slightly, and he lost his voice for a while before he calmed down.

“Everyone’s situation is different, and my experience may not necessarily apply to you. Why don’t you tell me about the other person’s personality, so that I can provide more appropriate advice based on your description.”

Personality?

As I lowered my eyes, I recalled: “he is very friendly to others, but very cold towards me. Every time I touch him, he pushes me away with a big reaction. It seems that he likes my voice very much, but he doesn’t want to admit it. It was my mistake to persist and even half-forced him to give me a blowjob and he did it too, but after finishing it, he left without a word as if he was angry.” As I spoke, I couldn’t help but frown, “His status is far from mine, and he doesn’t have much money, he is working a tiring, dead-end job….has a good appetite.”

After finishing the last sentence, I patiently waited for Zhou Jiyu’s feedback, but after waiting for a long time, I didn’t hear him speak. I couldn’t help but look up, and saw a strange smile on the corner of his lips. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he seems to be distracted.

The tapping of my fingertips came to a stop, I looked at him, and asked coldly: “Is it funny?”

Because of the sudden cold atmosphere, the psychiatrist who suddenly came back to his senses looked at me in a panic: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you.” He explained, “Your description reminds me of a person I met in the past. That person… always behaved very indifferent to the person he liked. I asked him why, and the other party said…I get too nervous, so nervous that I lose control of my expression and tone.”

“That’s why the other party will avoid talking, eye contact, and any sort of physical contact. You may think it’s because the other party doesn’t like you and feels disgusted with you. But in reality, it’s the opposite.”

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