Home/ The Selfish Gene/ Chapter 55
I really don’t like hearing this. The impact was so powerful that it took me a while before I could speak in a normal tone.
“Have you fallen in love with someone else?”
There is no place for me by his side, so where did my place go? Or… who took my place?
Ji Chenfeng quickly washed the bowls one by one and put them aside. His tone did not change at all from beginning to end: “It has nothing to do with you.”
My heart felt as if it was blocked by a big stone, and I couldn’t feel comfortable no matter how hard I breathed.
Rationally speaking, it really has nothing to do with me. I have no relationship with him anymore. He can be with whoever he likes. This is his freedom and I have no right to interfere.
“Is it Jian Xing?” But I have never been a rational person. Even if the medicine suppresses most of my bad temper and makes me appear rational, it is just a facade.
Medication can help me calm my emotions, but it can’t erase them.
“Is it him?” Seeing that Ji Chenfeng didn’t answer for a long time, I asked again calmly.
Don’t nod, don’t say “yes”. I stared fixedly at the back of his head, and dark thoughts gradually rose in my heart. Don’t let me become someone who even I myself think is scary.
Accompanied by the sound of water flowing, Ji Chenfeng slammed the chopsticks into the chopstick holder, as if feeling ridiculous upon hearing Jian Xing’s name: “No, don’t drag others into it.”
The black flames that had been spreading their teeth and claws since birth immediately froze, becoming smaller and smaller before eventually disappearing.
Just because of his words, the stone, flames, and pain in my heart all disappeared, and the trapped mind was released. Feeling a pain in my hand, I looked down, it turned out that I had unknowingly punctured the blister on the back of my hand. The tissue fluid accompanied by the blood flowed down half of the palm, and there was a slight seepage.
What was I going to do just now? What did I want to do?
Without saying anything more, I quickly left the kitchen holding my palm in my other hand, then took out a tissue from the cabinet in the living room and pressed the wound. I looked around for my cell phone and saw it lying on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, stuffed it into my trouser pocket, then turned around and stepped on Ji Chenfeng’s slippers before walking out the door without saying a word.
I slammed the door heavily and walked down the stairs without even thinking about how to get back.
Never before did I realize so clearly how terrifying Ji Chenfeng’s presence was to me, as if he could easily turn me into someone else. As long as it’s about him, I can’t calm down. He is more able to control my emotions than medication.
I slowly walked through the dark streets, and when I came to my senses, I had already arrived at the small noodle shop with a bright sign.
Taotie Noodle House…I remember last winter, Ji Chenfeng brought me here to eat the noodles.
My stomach, which hadn’t consumed any food for almost ten hours, made a gurgling sound in response to the situation. I raised my legs and walked into the store, where someone happened to come out and bump into me.
“Sorry…” The boy carrying the plastic bag looked back and apologized to me, then froze for a moment.
Although he cut his hair and changed into clean clothes, and even though his whole spirit was completely different, I still recognized him at a glance. It’s Cheng Tao, the kid who smashed my car twice and was finally sent to the police station by Ji Chenfeng.
He obviously recognized me and his expression became reserved.
“I’m sorry.” He stood up straight and bowed to me respectfully.
Without waiting for my response, he bowed again, this time for longer.
“Thank you.”
Standing up straight, he gave me a shy smile, then turned around and ran into the darkness holding the bag in his arms.
Looking at his distant figure, my mind was filled with doubts. I can understand the apology. After all, this kid smashed my car twice, so he should say sorry, but why thank me? Thank me for sending him to the police station?
Opening the curtain, I went inside, and the old lady who was watching the TV turned around and smiled when she saw me.
“Ah, isn’t this Xiao Ji’s friend?”
I smiled and sat down in front of the board: “You have a good memory.”
“She only remembered you because you are handsome, and she easily forgets the others by the next day.” The old man at the side joked, “What are you eating today?”
I asked for the same noodles as last time, and while waiting, I casually asked about the child just now.
“Are you talking about Cheng Tao?” The old woman said with an expression that clearly says ‘I want to gossip’, “He is the child that I told you about before. His mother ran away with someone, and there is a younger sister and a disabled father at home. Last year, he was still wandering on the road and doing some petty theft. I thought the child was going to die, but in a twist of events, he caught the attention of the government. Not only did they find a way to send the two children back to school, they also found a nursing home for his father, and the money was also funded by some organization.”
The old man also chimed in: “This is called good luck. I heard that the school waived all the expenses for the siblings, and the government also applied for subsistence allowances. Although the money is not much, it is enough for the two children to live. Sometimes Cheng Tao would come to our store to buy food, which was the cheapest plain noodles. We felt sad when we saw it. So last month, I asked him to come over and help after finishing his homework in the evening. We just let him wash a few dishes and then give him some food to take back after work.”
“Cheng Tao and his sister seem to be doing well in school, and the teachers are also happy that the two children can go back to school to continue their studies. It would be great if they can really make a difference.” The old woman sighed, “I’m not afraid you will see our joke, but this place is just a chicken coop. There are not many people born here who can really achieve something. Being able to go to high school is already considered educated. It’s different from that kid in the Ji family…”
She pointed in the direction of Ji Chenfeng’s house and gave a thumbs up, “He is the golden phoenix that flew out of the chicken coop. His knowledge, appearance, and character are all first-class. We are destined to be pheasants all our life. I just hope that these little pheasants can turn into phoenixes and fly away.”
So, when Cheng Tao thanked me, was it because I helped him get back on track and gave him the opportunity to return to school?
Then he thanked the wrong person.
Although Ji Chenfeng and I took him to the police station, deep down in my heart, I actually didn’t believe that doing so would make any difference. Subconsciously, I believed that this was a stinking ditch, and the people here would never be able to wash away the filthy stench from their bodies. Such as Yan Shanhua, such as… me.
But Ji Chenfeng is different because he was born different. Only people like him will believe that people can change and fate can be broken.
Before today, I always believed that in the relationship between Zhou Jiyu and Ji Chenfeng, Zhou Jiyu undoubtedly had greater attraction to Ji Chenfeng, but maybe it was just the opposite…
Ji Chenfeng is like a light in the darkness, making the filthy snakes, bugs, rats, and ants both yearn for and fear him.
Perhaps, Zhou Jiyu was involuntarily attracted to Ji Chenfeng… Just like me.
After finishing the noodles, I lingered for a while and didn’t leave. The two elderly people may rarely have someone to talk to them so much, so I just sat there until they closed the store.
I heard them talk about a lot of past events in Fly City. In the past, Ji Chenfeng and Zhou Jiyu often used to come to their store to eat noodles. However, after Zhou Jiyu left, there was no news for many years, and Ji Chenfeng rarely came. Zhou Jiyu visited them once when he came back last time, and he looked like a completely different person. The old woman said that she almost didn’t recognize him.
Speaking of Yan Shanhua again, more than twenty years ago, they still used to set up a stall on the roadside. One day, they suddenly saw a woman crying on the road with a child in her arms.
It was only after inquiring did they find out that the woman’s husband was paralyzed and she was supporting the family by herself. She was busy from morning till night, and once when the child got sick, she didn’t have time to take him to the hospital. She thought it was a minor illness and gave him some medicine. However, after taking the medicine, something went wrong and the child became deaf.
The woman kept slapping herself in the face, causing her cheeks to become red and swollen. She kept mumbling back and forth, “What should I do, what should I do?” The child was so sensible that it made people feel heartbroken. With a face carved with powder and jade, even if he couldn’t speak smoothly, he would still wipe his mother’s tears and tell her to stop crying.
But as a result, the woman cried even more sadly, hugging him tightly, and the words she said over and over again turned into heart-wrenching apologies.
I just listened silently. In the past, I probably would have ridiculed her. However, after Yan Shanhua passed away, my emotions have stabilized. Apart from a faint sigh, I no longer want to speculate on her psychology.
No matter how I left, I still have to go back in the end. When I returned to the blue iron door, it was already close to twelve o’clock. In the dead of night, I couldn’t hear any movement inside through the door panel.
My self-esteem, which had been so elusive recently, now has a full sense of presence, stopping me from knocking on the door.
Why don’t I just spend the night in the corridor?
Looking at the small plastic stool and table behind me, I began to seriously consider the feasibility of sleeping on it tonight.
Anyway, the weather is quite warm. If I sleep until late tomorrow, and Ji Chenfeng leaves as if nothing happened without leaving a key for me, I will just smash his broken lock and find someone to replace it with a new one.
With this thought in mind, I sat down on the small round stool and looked at my sleeping environment, feeling quite satisfied with it. So I rested my arms on my head and tried to fall asleep. However, within five minutes, I was attacked by the mosquito army and fell off the stool.
Slamming heavily on the iron door, I saw a dark shadow flashing past not far from the corridor. It seemed to be a mouse as big as a cat.
This is too damn big…
The title scenes of various rodent disaster movies suddenly appeared in my mind, and the strength of banging the iron gate became even greater. After a while, due to my constant harassment, the iron door was slowly opened. With quick eyes and hands, I quickly opened the door and couldn’t wait to squeeze in.
Closing the door with my back hand, the frightened heartbeat had not yet calmed down, but it became even faster due to Ji Chenfeng being so close.
“Do you know what time it is?” He looked down at me and asked with a sense of oppression.
I leaned against the door and explained: “I went to the Taotie Noodle House to eat, and accidentally chatted with the old couple a bit late. Sorry, it affected your rest.”
Hearing that I went to the Taotie Noodle House, the lines between his eyebrows relaxed a bit, but his body still didn’t move away.
“If you want to live here, you must abide by the rules of this family.”
I had no objection to what he said, and I just listened to him continue.
“You must tell me where you are going, what you are doing, and what time you will be back; you are not allowed to enter my room at any time; you are not allowed to touch anything here without my consent.”
I nodded: “In other words, under this roof, I must listen to you.”
Ji Chenfeng stepped aside and didn’t deny it: “You can understand it that way.”
This is probably because Feng Shui has changed. In the past, he was obedient to me, but now it’s my turn to bow down to him. It’s all retribution.
I smiled at him and started to unbutton my pants.
“…What are you doing?” He looked at the pants that I quickly took off and piled at his feet, and his relaxed eyebrows furrowed deeply again.
“Take off the clothes and take a shower.”
I grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and took it off. I already wore very little in summer, so after a while, I was stripped naked in front of Ji Chenfeng.
“You didn’t say I couldn’t do this.” I completely exposed my body in front of him and didn’t hide any reaction that would occur under his gaze, not feeling ashamed at all.
His gaze didn’t linger on me for long. The body he loved in the past seemed to have lost all attraction to him.
“One more thing, you are not allowed to take off your clothes outside the bathroom.” He strode towards the bedroom and spoke with his back towards me, then closed the door forcefully.
There’s one piece of good news and one piece of bad news.
I picked up my clothes from the floor and entered the bathroom.
Good news is— he didn’t show any disgust towards my honest little brother.
Bad news is— he actually held back.
Fuck!
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